Second Dad

Submitted by Wendy...

My stepfather was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago, eventually diagnosed with Alzheimers. Although his decline was gradual, this past year, his disease progressed. As we saw his abilities changing, we began focusing on things that he COULD do, instead of trying to have him do things that were becoming challenging. One of the skills that remained, was Ted's love for giving directions in the car. Although he was no longer driving, I would have him sit in the front seat with me, we would pick a place to go, and he would give me directions how to get there. It became a special time for us to share, and an opportunity for him to get out of the house and (possibly) feel a little more productive.


Another special time between us would be meals, especially dessert time! Ted LOVED ice cream and even though he had a pretty healthy appetite, there would ALWAYS be room for ice cream for dessert!! His eyes would get big and sparkle at just the thought of a special treat coming his way!


I know people experience this disease differently, but whatever can be done to make these people feel special and productive is so helpful to both the person with Alzheimers and their caregivers.


Ted's health declined very rapidly this past spring, and he passed away in May. I miss him terribly, but in the moments that I'm in my car, I can sometimes almost feel him with me, directing me which way to go. In many ways, he was my 'navigator', not just in the car, but in life. I feel very fortunate, after losing my own father many years ago, to have been blessed with my special 'second dad.'


Some people shy away from illness, but I must admit, these last couple of years were the most special between Ted and I. I hope you can also create special experiences and memories for you, as well!


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